Better late than pregnant

 

For those who have not experienced the thrill of a vasectomy a frozen bag of peas are a great comfort.  And you don't eat them.

For those of you who have not experienced the thrill of a vasectomy, a frozen bag of peas is a great comfort. And you don’t eat them.

As awesome as it might seem, expecting another baby, my fifth, at age 52, does not excite me.  In so many ways it does not excite me.  And, I know for a fact, it would not excite my husband, as we purchased and used that bag of frozen peas a number of years ago.

But in the haste of getting my last blog published (it was 2 years late), I mistakenly gave folks the impression we were anticipating another hellion. I, of course, did not realize this, until my ears exploded as people quietly discussed my state of mind behind my back, then called my parents to share their disbelief. Now, I blame them not. I, too, would question anyone’s sanity who thought getting pregnant in the throes of middle-age would be fun.

It’s not that I don’t care much for children. I like other people’s just fine – it’s mine I have an issue with. They’re a lot of work. Maybe I’m just tired – I’m going into my 33rd year of motherhood and have another six years before the last one heads out to college, the army, or prison. At that time I will have had children in my house for almost forty years.

But once again, I digress.  Let’s see . . . tired, crazy, old . . . oh yeah, my parents. So, after my blog faux pas, I get an email from my mother that says, “Ha, ha ha!!!”  Then she sends a shout out on social media that I am going to be the oldest woman alive to give birth, which is totally not true.

pregnant

Rajo Devi is the oldest woman on record to give birth – she was 70. Now that’s just plain fun!

Then my dad called. “Honey,” he said nervously clearing his throat. “I just had dinner with Aunt Carol and,” he cleared his throat again, “well, this is a little delicate, but we think you’re just plain idiotic and a raving lunatic to have another baby. But we’ll support you, no matter what,” he added. “Just not financially,” he whispered.

I tried to explain to both of my parents that my blog about having a December baby is a subtle way to let people know that my new book (Merry Birthday plug) is now published and available on Amazon and at Barnes&Noble.com (Merry Birthday plug).

“Well, that’s just silly,” my mother snorted. “Why don’t you just come out and say it?”

“Social media doesn’t work that way – you need to establish relationships.” I told her. But trying to explain today’s marketing technology to the elderly (Ha ha ha) is never easy. “It’s like asking someone you just met to be your husband.”

“It worked for me,” my mother said, before covering the mouthpiece and screaming, “PETE! THE TOILET’S PLUGGED AGAIN!”

She has a point.  And she has been known to think she’s always right, so here goes.

My new book, Merry Birthday (Windy City Publishers, 2013) is now for sale.  It’s a children’s picture book about a young boy who has a late December birthday and is frustrated when his special day gets lost in the holiday shuffle. It has great pictures and is lots of fun to read.  I think you should buy it, because, not only will you enjoy it, but it will make me feel good about myself and I have notoriously low self-esteem. It’s really a win – win for everyone.

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